Some thoughts on why the northerners were soundly beaten 25-3 by the smug southerners.

They prepared for the match with a poncy pasta lunch, we ate pasties and smoked cigarettes.

Dom 'mincer Jones' refused to play so we had no defence. Everyone wanted to score and we had no defence.

If I run longer than twenty seconds I cough up bits of lung. So does Collins.

We're all rubbish in goal and no one wants to play there anyway.

Paul Mannion is afraid of the ball.

Alex's judgement was severely clouded by his mission to hurt Simon.

We were 3-0 down in two minutes, and 6-0 within six minutes. Needless to say, heads were down.

I ate a Snickers and four Jaffa Cakes minutes before kick-off.

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Some thoughts on why the northerners were soundly beaten 25-3 by the smug southerners.

They prepared for the match with a poncy pasta lunch, we ate pasties and smoked cigarettes.

Dom 'mincer Jones' refused to play so we had no defence. Everyone wanted to score and we had no defence.

If I run longer than twenty seconds I cough up bits of lung. So does Collins.

We're all rubbish in goal and no one wants to play there anyway.

Paul Mannion is afraid of the ball.

Alex's judgement was severely clouded by his mission to hurt Simon.

We were 3-0 down in two minutes, and 6-0 within six minutes. Needless to say, heads were down.

I ate a Snickers and four Jaffa Cakes minutes before kick-off.